Stacey

i would focus less on who they are, where they come from, what they're about and the fact that whoever these things are think they can have their way with you. what is it in yourself that you can push out to remind yourself that your energy is worth way more than getting messed with? the others don't matter. it's about us trusting our own glorious power. trust me i know it''s unfair but we have certain responsibilities when leech energy comes at us lol, but withstanding how unfair things are is what being brave is all about : ) keep pushing your assertiveness out there consistently. you are allowed to have your boundaries. : ) everything has a power to it that can be amazing for healing, but you need to set boundaries first so that your energy doesn't get overwhelmed with *everything* that can be offered from another source all at once. generally i find that the most aggressive forces out there have the most healing to offer. also i'm good at giving advice, but it took me forever to begin getting to this place... love, stacey

hey karen, it is suggested to me to write a list of things you wanna recap. i would do it with the intent of recapping depression if that's how you want to do it. you don't have to follow the list, i never do- i wind up following what my energy shows me, but it creates a really clear starting point. water for self compassion, fire for releasing internalized anger. *hugs*

Dear Lorrie, I just came across this topic. I was wondering how one's healing intent plays out in situations like this, situations as in other ppl's conflicted intents. in other words how can one move against/through resistance of others like that, to create an opening for healing possibilities?

To add to the topic of sleep paralysis, just BC I feel I'm *quite* the seasoned expert on the subject , Myaa, if this is a relevant topic to you or not lol: I came to a point recently where I choose 'radical acceptance' of it when I feel it coming on. This allows me to ride over it like a cloud, pushing my breathing into the space below my belly and opening my heart wide. It's an opportunity to intend everything you need to in this spitfire manner. For me, i come out of it all aware and enlightened. If sleep paralysis happens to you and you try it, Myaa, you might see that in a sense we choose to color our perceptions in the way that seems to make the most sense to us (eg. Terror upon entering REM paralysis), but if you switch it to the opposing perception (love upon entering REM paralysis), you notice how capable of speaking directly to God/what-have-you you are... For anyone who reads this that has seizures with auras, this applies too...my last seizures I saw everything so clearly, like a great owl swooping around me and a huge ball of light, I heard myself think, "THERE IT IS!"; came out feeling cleared out of all my ish and enlightened. < 3 S

Everyone's experiences with their respective gender identities comes from a very intimate and valid placenta. Likewise, what we know with our hearts to be authentic about ourselves, whether this contradicts the perceptions others have of who we are, is probably better off expressed in the world so that we can move in it in a way that makes sense to us. To find peace with it is important, and I think what Northi was asking for help with. S

Yes- all outcomes need our aagreement in order to happen in our lives. To answer your second ?: Recap : )

Helen Anne, what article was it that you read? If you're able to give more details about what it is you want help with, either myself or someone else might be able to sufficiently respond. : )

Rcd, Sometimes external confirmation falls flat when you know something with your heart. If it's that feeling that gives you peace or something else that helps you, no matter how you identify it, let it be as is and you'll learn more from it. The second point I want to make: as you know, it's in the nature of grief to get 'in the way'. Try not to judge it for its demandingness...i'm not saying it's going to make it 'better'. But resisting it, trying to look past it, in my experience, agitates it. Perhaps that feeling in your heart is part of the story of your grief. I'm so sorry for the loss of your loved one. Sending intent of healing and kindness. < 3 s

You're advising us to look to an 'entity'/'spirit' for help...

I know a lot of people who're into it and stand by it. I understand the fascination, but I'd rather focus on healing what I need to before my intent leads me to look further back- which it seldom has. Plus past life regression requires dependence on the mind- following this tradition, I intend to take my power back from my mind so that it could become a 'secondary' tool.

I know that feeling. So we lose observation mode in meditating but we have to just brush it off or laugh at it when it happens. Loss of focus- so what? It happens. Next breath. In the long run, if you continue re-visiting the intent persistently, you're still moving toward it- perhaps not how you want to or think you should, but still. Enjoy the ride : ) Take your time adapting to the changes...keep recapping. Things unfold in ways we don't really expect.

Stacey in- Wanderer, i get hung up on feeling unable to interpret dreams, too. What helps me might also give you direction- feel for the energy moving behind the images to counteract your focus on interpretation- which is just re-arranging parts of the images. Let us know how this works for you. S

So exciting thnx niteshad!

if it's waking up spiritually you're interested, i recommend trying other outlets than drugs- work with your own power. what we have to remember about plants is we're not smarter than them, and they're not working for us. the times i had used salvia didn't really seem to do much for me. what i remember was it giving me that paranoid crack quaking feeling coupled with mild disappointment. what opened the door for me on my path was my experiences with meditation. to this day it continues to feel 'counterintuitive', but i do it just about everyday anyway. it's been a gentle friend that prompted me to try to find myself; strengthened my connection to the energetic.

Lorrie, Is there a general estimation how long the chat will run for? I might not be able to make it 'til 930 945

:O this is very exciting!

i finally got to read your post. self heal tom- be your *own* healer. : ) but start slow and take your time with it. please don't go straight to trauma again, don't go anywhere heavy yet as to avoid agitating wounds. you are a lot like me in your desperation to heal (if you don't mind me saying), so please understand this isn't coming from a place of judging. i started recapping all the current relationships and happy memories like a month in not realizing that was gonna make my home life even harder. but i was just so desperate to 'get over' all of it and detach from family so that it would stop hurting. and it hasn't ; ) so it's important to not let the desperation get in the way- let your intent guide *you* and you will get there. also did you read the grounding stuffs i sent you. grab some rocks and stuff. put your hands in the dirt. remind yourself that the narrative will end. it will take time and hard work, but keep intending and it will get better

hey tom, i'm so happy you reached out here. recapping is great and i'm happy you went for it. and pleased honestly at your receptivity. and a little blown away by the strength of your intent. : o i do recommend recapping, but wait until you get replies from the shamans first and take the class i told you about if you're able to. in the meantime: sit outside on the ground or stand barefeet out there. hug a tree : ) read the article on grounding i e-mailed you. you might not notice anything right away- for me, i didn't because of my expectations. sometime within the past two weeks i reflected on it, seeing that grounding does in fact 'work' on me.

whoa, i had a really hard time reading that list. Karl, thank you for your insights as usual : ) we put our energy in different places on a collective level these days then i imagine we once did. I think the way the 'call' might show up in 'western' cultures is this feeling unable to be superficial, and feeling unable to not see through things- this being complementary to how we're taught to spread our energy out thin, here in the states anyway. idk how it is elsewhere but i imagine that it varies culturally. Jonothon, I just wanted to tell you to open your heart to clarity again. You have a heart, and that's ultimately where your strength is. It's not gonna go away tomorrow. So take pressure off yourself. These're big visions you have for yourself and you might want to get there one day but you have to build up to it. Look for the 'grey' area of things- hypothetically, if you found yourself embracing a shamanic path today, you wouldn't be able to shout from a soap-box: "i'm a shaman!" tomorrow. i have been self-healing for several months and i am no where near that entitlement. No matter what, though, it's never about the identity. It really helps to let go of it- ultimately who we believe we are is irrelevant. Be good.

sorry jonothon, i didn't mean to come across as judging. my statement wasn't specific to you. paying respects to those who've been persecuted and recognizing personal privileges are points i like to put out there for people expressing interest. i'm one of those. what exactly are your apprehensions- what do you expect would happen if you 'journeyed'? if you're talking about what's referred to as 'harner style' journeying, it's a practice whose roots are in the shamanic, but not something only shamans do. perhaps my colleagues and teachers here could elaborate one what the effects of journeying are, how safe it is or isn't. s.

Jonothon, there's nothing to 'solve'. intend to see your path with clarity. keep your mind out of it. also: ask yourself why you want to be a shaman, and answer yourself honestly with that one. my introduction to the shamanic was one into which i was swayed by romanticism. it gave me a lot of escapism and it's been important to stay aware of that. i'm also grateful for what becoming conscious of romanticizing the shamanic has done for me. it helped me to be aware of certain privileges i have that those who've walked the path before me or in other parts of the world have not. i think that kind of realism is important to appreciate once you begin stepping inside. S.

neat-o!

BL94, I'm echoing points that were made here for reiteration. To go out in nature helps me tremendously- to the sea, to the woods, anywhere in which bonding with the elements is called for. If I'm unable to make it, at least stuffing my pockets with herbs and rocks, taking my shoes off out there helps me calm down, grounds me. It keeps me in touch with my journey of finding out who I am...and maybe that's what's calling to you, too. What's been most helpful was figuring out what my values are, and little steps I could take to act in alignment with them. In effect, this brings people with whom I share similar values or at least interests to me. Values change and there's even been grief over what I've perceived to be failure, but it doesn't matter, because it's brought me to where I am now...I know what I want from my life and I know what it wants from me. All the best to you :) S.

Hi Karl, Just wantedto let you know as I said I would that recapping went great yesterday and I've been feeling really well since approaching my intent without yielding. I had a bit of a fright about an hour ago with sudden self doubt which led to depression and have been resting, but I'm about to recap and intend to recover whatever the "attack" was drawing to my attention. S.

Yes!- I thought my feeling rather mentally ill recently had to do with my mind fighting hard against my changing. When I finish my recapping since I started it, I see the same angry face being all threatening. Early on in the process I understood this to be a configuration of my own energy. I figure it's old, as it looks just like Hexxus from Fern Gully-my fav movie as a small child. I'd like to add though that the first time I went to read the bones of the dead this past Monday, I felt so in my power afterward that I saw the face vividly and just cut it down the middle. I'm glad to hear the process is not perfect. I wasn't letting go of an expectation that if I were doing this right I'd feel unbelievably awesome all the time by now, therefore I must be messing this up, not really recapping, etc. Right now I'm going to theta out, watch videos of foxes hunting and write my thoughts down, then recap. I'll let you know how I feel afterward. Thanks again for medicinal comments.