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It's interesting that you talk about my own death, I was clinically dead for approximately 3 minutes when I was 12 years old. I had drowned and was successfully resuscitated. At the time I was experiencing what I now believe was a transformation of myself. I went from the rambunctious teen to what my family deemed a hermit. I didn't feel comfortable around people and certain places would literally make me physically ill. I also began to have night terrors, walk in my sleep and have conversations with unseen people while I was sleeping. Animals started showing up wherever I was that would follow me for no discernable reason at all. I believe it was unfortunate that at the time my parents had made the decision too practice the Pentecostal faith because they and their pastor made the determination that I was being oppressed by some entity and proceeded to poor my young mind through hell trying to rid me of this. Now after some 35 years I am beginning to think that this was me being called to service. It wasn't until the last 8 or 9 years that I could put a name to it or even recognise and accept it. I still am my own worst skeptic. I noticed that if I ignore things life gets extremely rough and sometimes even deadly to me. Just last August I nearly died from a bee sting after being stung many times in my life with nothing more than a bump. Once again I wondered if I might have ignored something for to long. Any way thanks again for everyone's words of support and wisdom.

Thank you all for the sharing of wisdom.I normally can identify someone who has come to me to help them along I just had one slip by my radar that didn't give me the usual feeling of being about to move on. I should of recognised from my discussions and musings with him but didn't and I am not accustomed to them leaving without my fore knowledge of what is about to happen. I apologize for my rant but this friends passing took me so much by surprise I felt and still feel slightly overwhelmed. As I sit here writing this and reading everyone's words I am recognising the usual pattern but had never really associated it to someone so young and full of soul. Normally I can perceive when someone is ready to travel as I like to put it. Something kept me from recognising this time. Usually I help people that are on deaths door to come to terms or embrace the next step. This friend was alive and full of vigor. Anyway thank all of you for your words of support I will overcome this I just will try to be more aware and not ignore the signs and portents when they present themselves. Thumb

I appreciate what you are saying.Maybe I was to wordy. What I was trying to convey was I'm tired of people coming to me to die.

I'm tired of getting new friends only to have them move on after I have talked them about life and helping them to overcome something that was keeping them here. I lost another friend today. I know it's selfish but I am very tired of getting to know people just as they are leaving this life.