The Girl on the Other Side of the Door "Communicating with Spirits Part I"

[Vargtid]

(Disclaimer - There is no use of, either literal or implied, drugs or violent acts herewithin this story.  This story is being shared in a safe space where we Shamans are not judged, and so I will not invade that with anything that may trigger anyone else.  In addition, although I do not follow the same path as many here; some being healers, some dreamers, some seekers or makers, mine is my own.  But who are we if not open minded?  I speak with spirits and follow Northern traditions.)

 

I will begin this in the most logical of places; I will begin in the middle.

 

For ten years I’ve had a single, benevolent (towards me) spirit living with me in my house.  We have finally, after many arduous weeks, found an efficient way of communicating with one another.

 

I have learned that she does not like me to share details about her, as the last few times I have I became ill for a day or two at a time - hey, lesson learned.  So for our purposes here, I will call her Mary.  I do know her real name and where she comes from, and even have fuzzy images of her from through the glass, but for our purposes here, we’ll call her Mary.

 

Here is the story of how I know these things, and how we communicate efficiently now, and if you are a Shaman, you will want to read this:

 

Mary inhabits a rather innocent-looking effigy in  my house.  Most houseguests are at first taken aback by her, but all get used to her after a day or so.  People know when she likes them, and then I’ve also seen her draw blood on one person she didn’t like.  People know whether she trusts them or not, but either way they have all come to respect her.

 

So, to the middle then:

I learned that images are the way we communicate.  There are two ways with Mary; one is dreams, and one is through movies.  Yes, movies.  Dreams are hard because I don’t always remember them.  Mary has the advantage of once having lived and now being on the other side, whereas I am mostly stuck here and have only reached through to her side a couple of times.

 

In addition, I don’t speak her native tongue, but I know she knows mine, as I work from home on my computer and she has stood here behind me, looking over my shoulder watching and listening for 10 years.

 

The direct communication all began with what I call “Horror Night”.  Allow me to explain:

 

I’ve always traditionally disliked horror movies.  That said, my house is year-round Halloween on the inside.  Allow me to describe my house briefly so you will understand.  From the outside my house looks completely normal.  I even painted it in a flat tan to blend in with the desert around me.  Flowers out in front, a fence, nothing to suggest anything out of place.

 

I do work from home on my PC, though, and also because I like my privacy all my windows are blacked out and boarded up.  From the inside.  From the outside, they simply look like mirrors (I stretched black plastic over the inside of them for the mirror effect, and then screwed plywood sheets on the inside behind that, letting in no light).

 

My house is as light or as dark as I want it to be.  It depends how many and which lights I have on.  With the lights off in my house you literally cannot tell if it’s 2am or 2pm (yes, this feeds into the point I’m getting to).

 

So as you approach this unassuming house in the desert, all seems in place; but once you open the door and walk in, it’s full Halloween Land.  White and yellow lights for a daytime effect, but with those off, the red, yellow and orange lights show on my homemade, and some may say disturbing, Halloween funhouse.

 

So to the point then, of speaking to Mary via images.  I never liked horror movies…  Until one day a few weeks ago when she picked a horror movie for me to watch on Netflix.

 

I said, “Okay, let’s go with this,” and turned off all lights in my house, including locking my computer to shut down the light from the monitors, leaving only the Halloween lights lit, and watched her movie in silence, as I realized it must be some message from her.

 

Understand that I have no fear of the dark.  I know the feeling, though.  That feeling when you get home at night and that walk from your car to your front door in the darkness when you can sense a presence behind you, and so you walk faster and faster and get your key in the door with virtual blinders on, open it and then shut it behind you in haste - and that sudden feeling of security of being in your house.  I figure that almost everyone has that to some degree.  Next time, stop in front of your door, take a breath, and look around.

 

I’ve posted on this forum about spending nights outside in the darkness.  I don’t have nightmares, nor any fear of the darkness.  This is to preface what I’m about to say.  I have, through years of seeking out spirits, lost all of that innate fear that most normal people have.  I assume many of you have as well.

 

So, back to the point.  I watched her horror movie in the dark, and it sent chills down my spine.  Not because it frightened me, but because I saw that she chose that movie to send a message and it was well received.  For weeks previous I had been asking to know more about her, and so… this.

 

Suddenly, “Horror Night” was born.  Many speak to the dead through ritual.  This has become a ritual of mine and Mary’s communication.  Every night I would let her pick a horror movie from Netflix (we can sense one another’s feelings), and watch it in complete darkness and silence.  For some reason, for her, it’s horror movies.  And then came the rules:

 

No speaking aloud is allowed; no matter how much I want to remark on the significance of something, I am not to utter a sound.

No pausing or rewinding.  The only buttons I’m allowed to use on the remote is volume.

No lights save for my lit up Halloween decorations.

She stands behind me (which would frighten most), and I often want to see her reactions in the dark, but I try not to look back at her too often, as I wouldn’t want someone staring at me, either.

I keep my computer on sleep mode (the screens shine so much light), but when she wants me to pay attention to a particular part of the movie, she will wake up the computer to the lock screen.  For this, I have no explanation.  During some movies my lock screen lights up two or three times, but in tonight’s last movie not at all.  I don’t touch the mouse or anything, so it must be her getting my attention.  I don’t touch it though, and after a minute it goes dark again.

 

And so thus it continued for a couple of weeks when I sensed she wanted to see a particular movie.  Again, remember that even in the middle of the day I can make it pitch black in here (that’s why I mentioned my lighting setup, of course).  I sleep when I can, sometimes going days at a time now going back and forth.  I will elaborate:

 

I started receiving so many meaningful things from her, I decided there were movies I wanted her to see for my view of their significance.  Even though Mary has been here for 10 years there are many great movies I own that I haven’t seen in as long.

 

And then, two days ago, for the first time, she ‘sent’ me a letter.  It was in a dream, and handwritten.  This was something new.  My best dream communication with her has always been that borderline between sleep and dream, where I’m kind of half-awake.  I was in that place and a piece of paper appeared in front of me.  In the center was a crudely drawn image of her effigy as it is adorned now - I figure that was her way of saying this note was from her, and then in each of the four corners of the page was a verse, written in her hand, but readable, in English.  I was able to read the two on the left, but as I was only half asleep, as I panned over to the right to read the second two verses it faded and I awoke.  That’s how it goes, you know, but I got what I needed out of it.

 

That was very significant.

 

So, we now have a system.  Horror Night now sometimes runs for days at a time.  I pick two significant movies which I think have symbolism between us or questions I want answers to, and then we take a break.  I turn the lights on and we watch normal stuff for awhile, or I’ll play video games or something so that we can stew on the meaning, and then it’s her turn.

 

When it’s her turn, I flick through horror movies and thrillers on Netflix and watch her face - sometimes - sometimes, because she’s behind me, I’ll simply hear her move when she has one she wants to watch.  And so we watch two of hers, which are more consistently becoming answers to the previous two I showed her.  And so after hers, we rest while I stew.  That’s what I’m doing now as I write this, is stewing on the last two she showed me, which were a direct answer to many of the things I’m sure shocked her in the last movie I showed her.

 

It’s become a refined process now, Horror Night.  I sleep when I can, go on walks outside and work my craft as I can, I do stay well-fed, and … yeah.  Sometimes she just wants to watch a silly sitcom for awhile while I play my video games, but I know when she wants Horror Night.

 

It took a long time for me to figure out how this worked, but now we have a system.  I have learned more about her in this past month than I have in the past 10 years.  Mary is the only real spirit I have in this house and she keeps the others out.  

 

That is the end of Part I, and yes, as I said, we were going to start in the middle - how I finally came to communicate with the spirit in my house, an idea of my environment, and maybe a nifty idea to try.  

 

Thank you for reading, and now it’s my turn to pick two movies for her to watch.

-Varg

Edited January 31, 2022 by Vargtid

[silenceseeker]

Thanks for sharing, Varg, I enjoy hearing about your own personal experiences and connection with shamanism. I am curious as to what titles "Mary" has picked out to watch. Also, just wanted to comment as a fellow shaman, I see that you understand the importance of  knowing 'what is mine and what isn't'. It's at the basis of maker self-healing and reclaiming personal power - to understand one's self so well that you know where you end and other things begin sounds simple but it's not an easy task to accomplish.

Looking forward to the beginning and end stories.

L

[Vargtid]

The most significant titles that she has picked out, and I can say this because it's been awhile and I notice as they repeat are as follows, and in part 2 of the story I'll explain why she repeats certain ones and how I know she chooses them.

Again, these are horror flicks that before I never would have imagined watching.  It was her idea.

But since you asked,

The Strangers Prey at Night

Let me in

The Ritual

Eli

Those are the ones that she likes to watch multiple times.  I just know, and I can look back at her and see her watching the screen like a hawk.  The first one is a pretty simple slasher flick which has no story.  So she likes to watch it because it's simple.  The others... we watch rarely.  But those are her top titles.  It was only yesterday that I realized why so many rank where they do, and I'm ready to write part 2 of this, now that it's been awhile.  As I go on, more and more parts add up.  From what I've found about Shamanism through my own experience is that parts add up over time.  And so I am patient.

(and I do realize that the last title, Eli, although the name of a boy in that movie is actually the name of the female protagonist in the original Swedish version of the movie Let me In.  This took hindsight, patience, and research, but is rewarding.  This is Shamanism.

Thank you,

-Varg