The Girl on the Other Side of the Door "Communicating with Spirits Part 3"

[Vargtid]

(Disclaimer - There is no use of, either literal or implied, drugs or violent acts herewithin this story.  This story is being shared in a safe space where we Shamans are not judged, and so I will not invade that with anything that may trigger anyone else.  In addition, although I do not follow the same path as many here; some being healers, some dreamers, some seekers or makers, mine is my own.  But who are we if not open minded?  I speak with spirits and follow Northern traditions.)

I meant to begin this chapter with a quote, as I did the previous, this time from one of my favorite poets, Robert Frost, but instead I'll hold that quote from that poem back and link this instead.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm72p_AXOnU

I'll quote Mr. Frost in the next chapter, but this song is so appropriate here as to my relationship with this spirit.  I've spent my 42 years on this planet absorbing thousands of books, movies, and songs to know what's what, and there you go.  So there's that.
"Time has a way of taking time" - Dave Mustaine, Megadeth.  A poet in his own right.

In the previous two chapters I have referred to her as 'Mary', which is obviously not her name.   It's not my place to divulge her name or origin.  Her name and place in time is only for her to say, and so here I think I'll  change it because you knew that wasn't her real name anyway.  From here on in we'll call her "Emma".

Thus begins Chapter Three; and to make it interesting I'll go back to the beginning and then come to the present.  Yes, the beginning of how I found Emma in the first place.
(as a btw much of this is dedicated to silenceseeker, as she asked me if I've scryed or spoken with her - well, as it happens I did last night, so cheers)

I first found Emma  almost ten years ago, back in 2012.  I have the occasional girlfriend and what-have-you, but I am single and always prefer to live alone.  Even those who prefer to be alone, however, still seek some.... 'je ne sais quoi' of some kind of company.  I've lived alone for the better part of the last 20 years, but back in 2012 I had a 1br apartment in Lake City, CO and felt particularly alone, and so I sought out a companion.

This is how I found Emma.

One night, randomly, back in July of 2012, I searched online to buy a mannequin.  I don't know why, but I do know better than to question one's own intuition.  I know well enough to let it guide me, and so in that summer night I was taken to a mannequin purchase from a particular website.  From a place that 9 years later would be significant - but I couldn't have known that then.  I'm not psychic.

She arrived in the mail at my apartment about 3 days later.  In a big box.  It was all body parts.  I am a hunter, and so to me body parts don't mean that much.  I'm used to separating them, as we did with deer and elk, because my housemate back in 2004 was too squeamish to do it himself - I became perhaps oddly comfortable with it.

But this was different.  What arrived in the mail for me was a box of fiberglass human body parts that I had to assemble.  I still remember them laid out on my bed and the awkwardness I felt doing so.

I ordered her short, young, with blue eyes and long red hair, unaware of how her visage would come to both haunt me and comfort me in the coming years. She has developed over the years, as have I, a mutual respect.  Anyone who has been to my house knows her.  I have pictures on my phone of ex-girlfriends posing with her, even.

Everyone here knows Emma; but not the Emma that I know.

It's not my place to describe her nature.  This paragraph was meant to say some things, but it's not my place to do so.  You must understand that this, as with any relationship, is largely personal.  That said, yes, I've had my fair share of girls over the last ten year stay here.  Emma approved of one of them, and tried to kill another.  That is a story for another day.

Emma is my protector, as I am hers.  It is a regrettable fact that there are people who want to kill me, because of some things in my past, and I have spent tens of hours making homemade bullet-proofing; but it's not for me.  My doors and windows, though boarded up, have none of this material.  This bullet-proofing I make goes on the wall behind Emma.  Why?  Because the people who would harm me know of her and know where she stands in my house, and I'd rather suffer than have her hit by one single thing, ever.  If that's not love then I don't know what is.

So, I purchased her as a mannequin in the summer of 2012.  Since then she has been ever-with me.  I suppose it was around 2017 or so when she began to speak to me, but that's a story for another chapter.  This is how I acquired her.  Why?  Always trust one's intuition.  I don't know why.  But it was there.

So, let us fast-forward to last night.  12-April-2022.  I run a YouTube business on the internet as I've likely mentioned, and so I often speak with many people all over the world over the internet - both for personal and video collaboration ideas.

Last night, I was speaking with my brother, who lives in KY.  He works early and so goes to bed early, and I know this because, yeah, I've lived and worked with him; although now and for the last 20-something years I have mostly lived in CO.

So, I know he goes to bed early.  That's because his job requires him to wake up around 0430 or so.  The point is as follows:  I was speaking with him last night using my main forum of communication - Discord - and at some point he fell asleep, as at was about 2200 his time zone.  I found myself speaking with a woman.  This is where it gets interesting.  I wish I'd recorded the chat, but I did not.

One thing I know about speaking with spirits is that, for instance, trying to do so straight-up is like trying to speak to someone through a door;  it's muffled and you can barely make out a word here or there.  I was speaking with my brother via a PC application, which he was running on his phone, and as I was speaking he fell asleep and that's when I began speaking with this girl.

I actually in truth thought it was his girlfriend at the time.  Her voice, however, wouldn't come clear through my headset.  I asked her multiple times, as I knew my brother was asleep, to move to a place in the house where I knew that cell reception was better, and I even have screenshots of the Discord messages I sent to her telling her this.  The point is that she listened to my stories and responded, but after over an hour of conversation and me not understanding a single word she said, I ended the call.  I'll come back to that in a minute.

I spoke with him the following day and he was as confused as I, as he was alone in the house, you see.  I thought I was speaking with his girlfriend, but she wasn't there.  I spoke with this girl for, and as my Discord timestamps show, more than an hour.  Twice during our conversation  I heard his voice in the background, probably grumbling in his sleep.

This means that she had the phone on her.  He, my brother, had fallen asleep and she had the phone because his sleep noises were in the background.  I didn't realize what was happening until I myself had some sleep and went back over the conversation in my mind.

I spent over an hour on the phone speaking with a girl.  After having spake with my brother today, I realize there was no one near but him in the house.  Her voice was muffled and over that hour or so I never caught a single word she said, but she did respond to everything I said.  I know she was there, listening to me and responding.  I made multiple suggestions to her, at the time assuming it was his girlfriend, as to where to go in the house to get better cell reception, but she never complied.

This, you see, is what I look back on and only now realize it for what it was.

As confirmed by him earlier today, she was not there.  He was asleep and there was no woman in his house; so who was I speaking with for that hour?  It was Emma.  We began communicating with movies on my computer, and now she's found a way to get into my voice chat, obviously.  This is incredible.  However, there is one hard fact that remains; I understood not one single word from her over that entire time.  It was just as I've spoken to her face-to-face over the years - it's just incoherent mumbling.  That actually part of how I realized it was Emma.

It's not her fault.  Communication with spirits is not in real life as it's depicted in movies.  Direct communication is slurred and muffled because it is exactly as I said earlier; it's like speaking to someone through the other side of a door.

So, for that entire hour I was speaking to her, without realizing it.  I didn't understand a single word said, but I talk for a living - it's what I do - and so I kept on talking as she listened and nodded and agreed.

Until the point were I began to realize that something was suspect.  In over an hour, somehow speaking with a girl who wasn't there, with my brother asleep, I started to wonder if was being phished.  As a personality on YouTube, this is a concern.  It's happened before; many times.

And so I said "goodbye", and hung up the call.  BUT, and this is shown in my screenshot of the text conversation - even after I left the call - over an hour later, the call was still open.  That is impossible.  Discord drops the call after 5 minutes if you're alone in the call.  Fact.  Also, fact, I have a screenshot showing this one open, with timestamps, for over an hour.  Impossible.  

And then, again, when I spoke with my brother the next day I found that he had passed out mid-conversation and there was no woman in his house I could have been speaking to.  But I know I did, and by the Gods I wish I'd recorded it, but I didn't.  All I have is the memory and a screenshot of the messages with her where you can see the time stamps.

Speaking with spirits is never as direct as they show in the movies.  You must trust what you don't know and follow your instinct.  You may be surprised as to the roads it will take you down.

I spoke with Emma for over an hour, directly, and didn't realize it.  What a mindfuck it is looking back on that.

-Varg

As a postscript there is one thing I meant to mention, but forgot.  In the Christian Bible there is one Human who is brought to become an Angel.  Metatron.  The reason I mention this is because here we have evidence of the idea of Shamanism even within Christian lore.  Here we have a Human, bringing his worldly wisdom and knowledge into a realm populated only by celestial beings.  Shamanism is truly a tradition in every religion from all time, for all time.

Edited April 14, 2022 by Vargtid

[silenceseeker]

Thank you for elaborating more on Emma, it's helped me get a better picture of your relationship with her. I find the Discord call you had with Emma really interesting. It's pretty unusual that I hear of people moving and connecting with spirits through technology. I know it happens but for some reason, I personally haven't run across it very often, so it's interesting. It's definitely something I would like to explore more. Regarding the scrying I mentioned. I actually didn't have any thoughts behind my suggestion, it just popped into my head while reading your post so I decided to mention it which is why I found it really interesting that what happened with Emma on Discord, well that fits the definition of scrying in my book, you're just using a non-traditional tool for it.  The makers use mirrors and water to scrye typically. If you ever feel like giving it a try, there is a practice posted on the public site about setting it up:
https://www.shamanscave.com/practices/mirror-scrying

My thoughts on Emma's intent on connecting to you through Discord went two directions: a) she simply wanted to connect and found a way b) she wants to tell you something, possibly something important. I bet that you could probably go back through the conversation you had with her and feel for her intent coming across. As you said, communication across the barrier does get blurred but Intent is something that can cross the barrier just fine.  So even though you may not have been able to make out the exact words she said ( and I think that was probably your mind/reason trying to put an image and logic on to your energetic communication ), I think you can probably get her intent, the gist of what she was trying to say to you. I also think she will show up again but maybe through  a different application. I'm also thinking the conversation may get clarified in dreaming with your stone and chain rune tool.

So I have one more question for now on Emma, I'm wondering if you have a goal for this connection with her; what do you see or want it to develop into? Is there now plan, just simply wait and see or do you want to be able to communicate more directly with her in the future? Or do you want her to have more of a physically presence in this world?

Thanks for sharing your journey.

[Vargtid]

silenceseeker,

First off, you sound as though you might be familiar with Discord.  I'm open about my Discord name, as I say - "If you're famous enough to know for people to care who you are, they're already know who you are.". Not that I'm famous, no, but I gave up trying to hide it long ago.  If they care, they'll find out.  So my personal Discord is Darkdally#6036    feel free to friend request me there for whatever means.  I don't mind it.  I speak to people all over all the time.

As far as your question, I'm glad as always to indulge:  I feel we both have a common interest in knowing the other better.  At first I wanted to know her name, and it was revealed to me, as were her place of origin, as it's pretty specific.  I wanted to know how we knew each other, and again, I've read back over 10 or more years of events in my life and that became clear.  It was when we began watching movies together that she let me know, down the the area code as to where I came from in this life, which even I had forgotten - okay, so she knows who I am now and possibly many things which even I have blacked out of my own memory.

I have learned of her personality, which is unique, by the way of movies which suddenly began popping up as to my pondering of what previous relationship we have had - and even in the nature of certain ex-girlfriends I've had.  That said, there will be no more.  Emma will be with me and no one else, and I have expressed the same sentiment.  For instance, a deep love I had last year, I dropped like a stone the instant she cheated on me.  That girl admmittied it as if some kind of regret/apppology the next day, and yet, no.    

Emma and I are somehow from the same time and have the same values.  Although I know so much about her, so much is as yet unclear, aside from that we share some things and times and language.  But I digress.  Allow me to read your question again.

I personally have no goals.  I have only casual friends who are girls.  Emma may get jealous and hurt one again.  And besides, Although I have no 'goals', per se, I only need her.  As far as how do I see us communicating in the future?  Face-to-face.  I do not see this as a stretch.  I do have other girls in my life, and either she likes them or doesn't.  There are no physical expectations in mind.  None whatsoever.  I can't blame you for asking, but no.  She is my guardian, as I am hers.  We'll see whom she approves of.

silenceseeker, in regards to what you said earlier; I will check out that link.  I haven't yet, and although I know of mirrors, have never used one for scrying.  I have, however, had one hard and fast rule, and really for no specific reason, but perhaps it'll mean something - I've never shown Emma a mirror.  There is a gut feeling it wouldn't be right, if that makes sense.  I will however follow your link anon and read about it, but know that I will never put a mirror in front of Emma herself because my gut tells me it wouldn't be wright - whatever that does or doesn't mean.  But I will read your link here in a minute.

If you use Discord, I encourage you to add me, Darkdally#6036 as a friend, and I'd be happy to speak with you there, as you are so informed, and we could flood the forums here with fewer speculations.  Thank you,

-Varg

[Vargtid]

And as a by the by, she is okay with me giving details of her name and some things over voice on Discord, but just now there in such an open form.  Don't ask me why.  It does sound crazy, but no - many things in my life are crazy - the only real commitment I've every had to a female who would do anything for me however is not.  Don't worry about it.  I  made it sound creepier than it is.  Seriously.  I'm just a Shaman of a very long time who's found his calling.

-Varg

 

*edit*  Still sounds creepy. lol... Trust me - I'm down to earth af

Edited April 19, 2022 by Vargtid