Regarding PTSD...

[Vargtid]

I'll be frank here to get to the meat of the subject:  I'm blah blah and have been blah blah blah, back a very long time ago, and I think on many things less and less every day over the past twenty years.  "Time has a way of taking time" ~ Megadeth.  Good quote.

What troubles me is a girl I was with last year, and I have no doubt that it will continue to come back on me, as if she's ever found competent to stand trial, I'll surely be called as a witness.  I will exercise my Fifth Amendment right and stay silent.  This post is about PTSD, and this is why:

There is no real, general way to deal with it, and let's be honest - that's a righteous bitch.  But it's true.  I still think of the things I saw this girl do that creep into my dreams.  Time does indeed have a way - it does take time, but things fade away.  I post this because someone mentioned it and I still have trauma so fresh in my mind.  The very mention of it will always call it, whatever it is back up.  That is, until it finally goes away.

Any business that happens towards you is just that - yours, and no one else's.  Take this from an expert in the field of avoiding thoughts of traumatic shit, okay?  I try to think in the 'now'.  How do I deal with this girl who effed up my life last year?  It's like impossible to not think of something, because that alone triggers your brain to think of it.  Trust me, I know how it goes.  Let's turn this positive.  Trust me.

My most recent traumatic memories are of driving this girl back and forth between here and Vegas and all the things that happened.  Most people thing of Las Vegas as a cool place where anything goes and what-not.  Sure.  Well I have things in my head from there that haunt me still... so... no problem - here's how I plan to fix it.

First is a good PMA.  (positive mental attitude); the knowledge that I am going to fix it.

Next is I'll save up like 10 grand or something like that and take a solo trip out to Las Vegas and stay in a super cool hotel suite and blow all the money on gambling and whatever and live that life that the town perpetuates.  What I mean by this is creating new memories.  When people here in the US think of Vegas, we think of decadence and debauchery, drinking and gambling - not of things that happened to me.  So I see it as a simple matter of I refocus my life on what I have here and what I learn, and then, perhaps in a couple of years, I go back out there, alone, and live the LV life to excess and 'overwrite' all that bad crap.

Take it from an expert in suppressing bad memories - make good ones to overwrite them.  It works. 

-Varg

[Moonshadow]

Hello Varg,

You should check out some of the articles on a practice we do called recapitulation and consider adding it to your "fixing it" list. It's a form of energy retrieval from life, trauma- doesn't take the memory away but leaves the memory empty of feeling. Yes the dreaming space is a great dumping ground for trauma, suppressed memories, etc. But why live with PTSD, when you an heal it? All that energy of ours we leave lying around through the corridors of time, from people, wars, family stuff, exes, you know just from being alive. I think if every human practiced recapitulation, we would be in a different collective reality. It really works, Varg.

Eman

[FinWanderer]

My own solution has been that “if I can’t change the past, and I can’t - might as well not worry about it” and also that it’s very difficult to know in advance or retrospect that what decisions might have worked better, that constant live in regret wouldn’t make life better. Must just let those thoughts flow, otherwise the ocd will just make it worse like you said.

I’m sure some sort of shamanic/magical work would give me more of my energy back thought.

 

Every moment has potential to be amazing, right? not that we should worry about it too much.

 

Also you could do this second trip to Vegas, and if it doesn't go well as planned, don't worry you can just conclude that Vegas is not for you. You could also pick another destination of "alternative healing", maybe Amsterdam? 

[Moonshadow]

Do not worry about what you cannot change, it is done. But If you cannot change the past then you might as well empty it: take the energy out of it for your use at your disposal in the now to create a different future from where you are standing to stand somewhere else with power. I guess that’s my philosophy.