Soul is out somewhere

[ccrook92]

Hello everyone, I have had something very odd happen to me and it feels like my soul is lost somewhere. I had a Kundalini awakening unexpectedly about a year and a half ago, I wasn't trying to provoke the energy and I honestly knew nothing about Kundalini in the first place. This really opened up my eyes about what life is really about. I started to "feel" and play around with energy. My life was full of passion, energy, drive and an all around feeling of peace. I work at a hospital and there is a girl that I really like and I've only seen her a couple of times, but every time i seen her, my heart and soul felt like it was going crazy. One day I seen her on the elevator and when she walked off I felt this very distinct pull like my soul just jumped out of my body. After that, things started to go downhill. I feel like something is missing inside and I feel like i'm just here. I don't experience excitement with hobbies that I love anymore as well as the happiness. I still laugh but it's like i cant "feel" on the inside. I had a soul retrieval about a month ago and things have gotten a little better but very minimal. I am wondering if I may be an example of a wounded healer perhaps. I am just trying to regain my feeling of joy, happiness, excitement, love and more. I thank everyone for reading this and sharing their insight on what they think.

Thanks!

Colin

[cyfnos]

Hi Colin,

 

Welcome to the cave. I am not really familiar with kundalini practices but I found a list of possible side effects on wikipedia.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kundalini

 

In the maker tradition it is all about balance, for example you can't be happy and high energy all the time that would be an unbalanced position of your energy since we have three other basic emotions which have something to say too. We teach how to deal with the emotional body in our Quicksilver class but or example if you force the position of joy for too long grief will be showing up pretty soon to counter balance it, you can do that yourself by your own choice or things will happen in your life to create that balance again. Often as human beings we are fighting/resisting this movement toward balance and that's when things don't feel so good, we lack fluidity. Partly this happens because we are brought up judging emotions joy is "good" "grief, anger and fear" are bad while in actuality all four are neither good nor bad they are just emotions and being fluid, switching easily from one to the next is a more natural state of our emotional body.

 

So in the maker view of the energy body the soul does not own joy or is restricted to joy, the soul can express grief, anger and fear and in some ways it needs too to stay healthy and thriving.

 

Cyfnos

[Karl]

Hey Colin,

 

I would also check out the topics of depression. While it's often associated with 'sad', depression can also manifest as a limiting of positive emotions. The source of depression is often a conflict of intents, stagnation. (This is different than clinical depression, which is something else)

 

You might take a look at the intents you're holding, such as where you wanted to be a few years ago, where you felt your life and things were moving to, and see if those are still true. Are they blocked by something? Do you need to change up some stuff?

[ccrook92]

Thank you Cyfnos and Karl for your insights on my question. I definitely feel like stagnation has played a part recently. I feel like I'm in a daily routine of things and whenever I do change things up I notice a difference in a positive way. I do get a little feeling of joy/excitement whenever i have an idea about a new hobby or project. I felt before I was able to experience all of the emotions in a wide array. Now i feel like i can experience them but they are in no way balanced. I am going to try to switch things up and go with the flow of things. I appreciate your feedback once again, many thanks.

[Karl]

If the usual remedies for feeling better aren't working, then there might be a new/hidden issue which you want to look at. Often, we don't really want to pay attention to what's really wrong, because it involves making decisions.

[Sphinxy]

Hi Colin -

I feel at least part of the key to answering your question is connected to the girl you met. If you focus on her, does she remind you of someone or something? Why would a piece of your soul attach to her in particular? If she indeed has this part of you (and what you're saying isn't metaphorical), is there a way to get it back from her?

It also seems to me that your Kundalini awakening was disrupted and that can easily cause depression - compared to the intense circulation of energy you felt before, your energetic input and output are more restricted. You might consider trying to safely and gently reconnect to and catalyze the flow of this energy within you, through a discipline such as meditation or yoga.

[ccrook92]

Thank you Sphinxy. From what I remember she had a lot of great qualities about her and I may have "fell" for her as possibly being the "one". It was a very weird yet distinct "pull" that happened. I seen her one more time after the event and I felt feelings again for those short moments. I have recently gotten back into meditation and it has been helping out little by little. I was meditating a couple of times a week before the event but even with other things I could "feel" the energy in my heart and have passion for hobbies like i said before. I feel like there something that is missing or buried beneath. I have never experienced this feeling before. A very weird incident occurred when i was reading a book about soul retrieval. I felt like i was feeling something for a majority of the book. I felt like I had a huge surge of energy and the feeling of belief as well. This may be the universe calling me, I will continue meditation daily but I am considering taking some shamanic journeying classes.Thanks again Sphinxy!